Yer Standin

Today whilst on my walk a woman came out and said, 'Do you have a packet for nextdoor?'

'No,' I said, 'not today.'

'Well,' she said, 'I saw yer standin last week and wondered if the packet came then. They're on holiday, you see.'

'Right,' I said. 'I was on holiday last week too. You say you saw me standing?'

'Yeah, I saw yer standin last week.'

I was confused. Really confused.

'You saw me standing?'

'Yes I saw yer standin.'

At this point she seemed to be getting a bit annoyed with me. She was looking at me in the exact same way I was looking at her.

'I was on holiday last week,' I said. 'Where did you see me standing?'

'What?'

'You said you saw me standing - where was I standing?'

'Nooooo! I saw your stand in!' she yelled. 'You know, the guy who stands in for you!'

'Ah right, sorry - what did he tell you?'

'Not much.'

Dear God.