Sunday 29 April 2012

Choreography (Was orginally titled Dance Partner)

I spent some time with my cousin today who was in distress over her neighbour's passing. She told me he had always been there for her in the past and now she couldn't help but feel like she had let him down.

She asked me - 'What is guilt?'

My answer - 'Guilt is that which arises when we think we had control over that which was always going to happen.'

We think we could've changed that which is. We mentally go back before the event unfolded and create a story of should'ves, would'ves, could'ves, ifs and buts.

But really, that which is, is.

The fact that it happened means ultimately it was meant to happen.

Guilt seems to be the left over dregs of our personal perspective of that natural happening. We make the impersonal personal.

I write this not especially for you, but more of a reminder to myself.

We carry guilt around with us and it prevents us from moving on. It becomes a heavy burden, sapping our energy, clouding our perceptions and ultimately leads to us living in fear.

When we let go of that burden, when we see that life is as it is and always will be, we can finally accept that we are merely puppets on a string, being danced by the divine. Although we're not dances - when we think that, that's when guilt can arise because we think we should've danced in a certain way. No, we are the dance being danced by the divine.

Do we have a say in how we're danced?

I don't know.

If every thought I have I was meant to have then surely the answer would be no, and that choice is an illusion. But we don't like to think that. We like to think we're in control.

My feet get tangled at that part of the dance - a downside to thinking like a dancer.

Great choreography, though, eh!?

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