Friday, 29 October 2010

Suffering is Learning

From the age of 14 to 24 I had a dream that I so desperately wanted to come true. That dream was to become a successful recording artist. I wanted to be on the front cover of every music magazine under the headline 'THE NEXT BIG THING!' I dreamt of signing along the dotted line and headlining venues here, there and everywhere. Every night (honestly, I can't remember a night I missed) before going to sleep I would visualise myself on stage with thousands of people dancing to the music that I had created. I could smell the sweat, the alcohol; I could hear the bass thumping my chest from the sound system that shadowed the crowd. 

Well - I got what I asked for. At the age of 23 I signed along the dotted line and began to release EPs and headline venues across the UK. 

Was I happy?

Hell no.

All those years my mind had created a false image of what I was to expect. The reality of it didn't match up to that image at all.

I became miserable, and as the months stumbled forward I ended up nearly having a nervous breakdown (people who know me will know that doesn't sound like me). 

I can remember crying on my bed not knowing what to do.  

I turned to friends (thanks, Coxy. R.I.P, man) who listened and were honest with me.

I held my mobile phone, took a deep breath and made the call that I knew in my heart was the right decision.

I quit what I had worked nearly ten years to achieve.

It took me ten years to realise that what I had wanted for so long, the thing I had dreamt of for nearly a decade, wasn't for me.

What a relief that was.

Suddenly the sun started to shine again. A huge weight had been lifted from my sore shoulders.

I was free.

...And everything was OK.

If only I had seen that when I was stressing over the drama I had found myself taking so seriously.

The reason I'm telling you this is because whatever you're going through, whatever's causing you stress and anxiety, it will come to an end.

It will pass.

And everything will be fine.

I would like to think that you're on the right track that is unique to you.

After my melodrama where I cried like a small child who has just tripped over his own foot, I realised that it was all a learning experience. 

So, for me, suffering is learning.

Remind me that the next time I'm complaining over something petty like getting a parking ticket.

Happy travels.....

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