Chicken

I was on my walk today getting a packet out of my bag. It was full so it was taking me a while.

Then I heard something.

Something weird.

Something strange.

I was on a quiet street; modern detached houses, no traffic, no dogs - this was a sound I hadn't heard before, at least not round here.

I turned around.

And there it was.

A damn chicken!

Massive!

I looked at it.

It looked at me.

It clucked.

I swore.

The packet I was trying to post wouldn't go through the letterbox. It said 'Do Not Bend' on it, but whoever wrote that didn't take my chicken situation into consideration. 

So I bent it.

It went through.

I backed up. My new clucky friend didn't take its eyes off me. I started to walk slowly to the next house.

I got about 10 meters away from it then it started to peg it after me - I mean PEG IT! I didn't know whether to laugh or lay an egg. (A chicken running is hilarious!)

I froze. It stopped in front of me and clucked and made other weird sounds.

'Piss off, chicken!' I said, then the owner came out and shoo'd it away.

My mate said I should've shouted 'NUGGETS!!' at it.