300 Words a Day - #15 - Choosing to Change

It’s amazing how much we change.

Maybe I should say it’s amazing how much we can change.

We change naturally over the duration of our life experience.

This is a given.

We spend our entire lives swimming, this way and that way, against the waves and with the tide; against the tide and with the waves. 

We endure storm after storm, trying to keep afloat; trying our best to keep our head above the water.

How can we not change when faced with such trials and tribulations of every day life?

But how much do we choose to change?

To choose to change we first have to acknowledge something within ourselves that we want to change.

This takes courage.

We need to be strong enough to lose face when looking in the mirror.

Conscious change;

To see the elements of ourselves that are doing us a disservice, that are getting in the way of us seeing more light, and stunting our growth.

I was a shy kid in school.

My hand was never raised to answer questions, even when I knew the answer.

Teachers would forever write in my reports, “If only Gavin had more confidence in himself.”

It took time to change, but I did.

Because I wanted to - had to.

My lack of confidence, of putting myself out there and being seen, had to be overcome.

I began to attend evening classes and practiced raising my hand to answer questions.

When I was 25, a friend died and his family asked me to write and say a eulogy at his funeral.

There were over 200 people there - and his open casket, to my right.

Was my heart racing?

Too right.

Were my palms sweating and my throat dry with fear?

Like never before.

But I survived.

And grew.

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